Not the blog it was meant to be

When I started to write this blog, it was going to record my down turns as well as the good times: hence the title Ups and Downs. In a way I hoped to make sense of the mood swings. However, I found I didn't want to bring my negative states of mind to the attention of the public. You could call me proud, in that I wanted to keep up a good shop window, but I also know that people were hardly going to want to read those entries. For a while I kept up 2 blogs, the miserable blog and the less miserable one. I got bored with the miserable one after fewer than 10 entries. I wanted to say something about anti-depressants but what is there to say about them, except that they help a bit?

I also thought that my blog pictures would cheer me up - reminders of all the interesting and arresting things there are to find out about. However, when I am in a bad state of mind nothing does that for me, really. I can't settle to anything.